Cruising Venice on Uniworld River Countess

Tim Warrington finds himself bewitched by the charms of a Countess he meets in Venice.

"There is no such thing as 'Spaghetti Bolognese'."

Our cruise manager announced this during her nightly briefing in the forward lounge. I'd been on the River Countess less than 48 hours when Louisa unhinged my culinary world with this revelation. I winced and covered my ears as I felt a million English dinners disappearing in a vapour of mistaken identity.

I imagined my tomatoes back home dangling forlornly from the vine, and my basil withering with every syllable she uttered. "It's ragu," she said, as I tuned back in. "Italians would never put meat sauce with spaghetti."

Full marks for information and reason I thought, but what's for dinner?

Another exquisite a la carte offering in the ship's sumptuous aft restaurant as it turned out.

It was my first cruise and she was a beauty. Uniworld's 10-day "Gems of Northern Italy" had quashed every preconceived notion of cruising I'd ever had.

They operate an international fleet of 17 exquisitely appointed luxury floating boutique hotels. Their brochure says "You deserve the best" and who was I to argue? "Alright", I thought to myself, "give it to me."

And they did — right down to the decanters of top shelf spirits in my suite, personal Nespresso machine and nightly assortment of chocolates.

The well-stocked minibar was a constant temptation as I passed to the marble bathroom with his and hers sinks, rainwater shower and Hermes toiletries.

My initial fears of Celine Dion muzak piped to every corner of the ship and the razzle-dazzle of nightly talent shows were quickly allayed as we boarded the vessel. Not a squeak of My Heart Will Go On, or a ship's magician in sight.

The River Countess is a classy lady.

The 130-passenger ship was filled with light and colour — and original Picassos. Other ships in the fleet boast original works by Degas and Matisse — originality is the finest form of luxury, they say.

Muted shades of turquoise complemented by soothing cream, taupe, and white accents created a luxurious and sophisticated environment.

The only sound: the swish of the butler's tails as he sabred a champagne bottle. Not a flipflop in sight and everything just as it should be — except for the spag bol, which I'd forgotten at the first sip of the most divine Aperol Spritz.

I was still giddy with excitement at seeing the Duomo and The Last Supper in Milan, when we arrived in Venice.

Within seconds of boarding I had already scheduled my teary goodbye. I knew it was going to be hard leaving. Venice: it was love at first sight.

Of course, I had seen it on television and in magazines, but once I'd boarded the River Countess I realised I was about to experience Venice from the best seat in the house. What better way to visit a city hugged by the ocean than by wining, dining and reclining on the water. We were moored right in the thick of it — a short walk to Piazza San Marco. Our ship — our quiet haven of tranquility — was smack-bang in the centre of one of the busiest, most beautiful cities in the world — with all of its delights, just around the corner.

The little touches on board had wooed me, but so did the grand gestures on dry land. We experienced a private tour of Saint Mark's Basilica, accompanied by our resident historian, Susan, who provided a fascinating commentary on the history of the church, its breathtaking mosaics and the ancient crypt below.

Another guided tour: to the Doge's Palace to gaze upon murals by Tintoretto and Titian, not to mention the exquisite Bridge of Sighs. King for a day — or week — never sounded so right.

"Just popping down to Gucci to pick up some loafers — back in 10," I told the captain as I passed him on the gangplank — because I could.

And it wasn't ridiculous saying it; neither was the Chanel-clad pug trotting out of Bulgari, or the little plastic rain coats they gave shoppers for their designer shopping bags at the slightest hint of rain.

Because it's Venice, and it's sublime.

As I sauntered back to the ship, over bridges and past gondolas, I saw tourists battling suitcases on cobbled streets — and I continued on with a wry smile, even more thankful for my marine lodgings.

Absolutely everything on board had been shipshape and Bristol fashionista. But on the bus to Bologna, Louisa's pasta revelation still fresh in my mind, I felt I'd dropped the meatball. Spaghetti Bolognese, the only recipe I knew by heart, didn't exist. And we were about to visit its home town.

We'd come for a tour, a spot of shopping and a pasta-making demonstration.

Bologna is as red as the pasta sauce for which it has become famous: red earth, red bricks and everywhere around us red buildings and towers soaring skywards. The city is unmistakably Italian by design, and so stylish even the graffiti has flair.

The pasta demonstration was informative and entertaining, but best of all I received a copy of Cantina Bentivoglio's recipe for traditional Bolognese Ragu. No longer was I a maverick figure of the kitchen heaping abuse on my spaghetti. From now on I'd do it right. That night I lay awhile in my handcrafted Savoir of England bed, smiling widely, my mind sorting my tagliatelle from my fettucine.

Another excursion, this time to Padua and more treats for the taste buds.

The waiter at Caffé Pedrocchi begged me not to stir their famous mint coffee to avoid disturbing the exquisite alchemy of flavours. The signature beverage offers a different taste at every sip as the flavours burst in a kaleidoscope of coffee and mint. Anti-Austrian revolutionaries of 1848 mustered there, as did Lord Byron, in quieter times.

xxxxxx

Lennox Dulcimer

Suzanne Wonder pants and the mystery of the golden saucisson  

First, the worst 

Start from the start

https://www.adobe.com/be_en/active-use/pdf/Alice_in_Wonderland.pdf

Charlie spendds the afternoon testing which stairs squeak and  writing in her journal and they’re toldf not to go up in the tower b ut of course we all know what that means …. Max had absolutely no inlination to go up the tower but now he could think of nothing else

          “Remarkable,” said the round-faced doctor shaking his head in disbelief and dislodging several tremulous chins from his stiff collar. “Rrrr-remarkable! Quite rrrr-remarkable. Brrrrrrrrr-eathe in,” he said rolling his Rs and pressing his cold stethoscope to Max’s chest. “Fit as a fiddle,” he declared triumphantly. 

            Thirty-seven degrees, said Charlie, the young, serious girl standing by the bed, shaking the thermometer and reporting the findings in her journal. She scribbled back to normal and underlined it twice. 

            “Breathe out,” said Doctor Pickleton, counting the seconds on his gold pocket watch, unaware Max had turned blue and then a frightening shade of purple.

“Breathe in!” Charlie screamed in a panic, determined not to lose her brother so soon after his recovery.

The doctor continued to count, holding one silencing finger up to Mother who hadn’t said anything.

She was far too busy noting down the details of her brother’s remarkable recovery. Max exhaled with a grin, the first in weeks full of sniffs, snuffles and coughs so violent the windows rattled with every bark. Charlie had almost forgotten what silence sounded like. 

            Ordinarily, Max wasn’t the type to lie around in bed feeling sorry for himself but circumstance or rather flu had made him (and most of the eastern seaboard / or a place) very, very ill. But Max – being the type of boy who said what he meant and meant what he said – had promised to stay in bed ‘til health restored. And this he did with sterling horizontal commitment. This conviction of mind was something he shared with his sister. But there the similarities ended, which was commonplace for a brother and sister, but strange among twins.  

Max was a tall riot of arms and legs garnished with a cheeky grin that said lets be friends. Charlie was compact and rather more serious. While the children were different in almost every way that children can be. They were the best of friends.

            When not confined to bed, Maxwell Ballantyne was a tall child; his sister Charlotte was not. But on his occasion it was she who looked at him and thought how tiny he looked lying there with his long legs sticking out over the mattress. Max’s long legs were topped by unusually dexterous toes – bad for flip-flops, good for cross-country, climbing and pinching his sister, which he felt he was entitled to do on account of being 23 seconds older. Despite her diminutive size Charlie was confident whereas Max was shy and at the mere mention of his name he would turn scarlet (he’s probably blushing now). 

Max had red hair, which explained why he ran so fast, at least that’s what father had said and father always told the truth – until he’d taken Wellington, their large to live on a farm three summers ago. Wellington did not return and neither had father, and mother had been remarkably silent on the subject.     

that morning he said “see you later alligator” and then didn’t come home (is he dead or did he run off with Mrs Browne in number 33). 

            Max had three small freckles on his top lip and one on his bottom (lip), which disappeared if he was nervous when he sucked , which he only did when he was really nervous – like now. Because Max knew when Doctor Pickleton made that noise, when he twisted the ends of his mustache into tight spirals one of two things would happen … awful medicine in his mouth or another inhjection in his bottom. 

Charlie Ballantyne loved to scribble. She carried two HB pencils with her at all times to make note of all things remarkable as well as much that was unremarkable. The problem was, Charlie, ;like most people often missed the finer details until she thought about them later and missing anything just would not do.

 if she became excited which she often did the first pencil lead was bound to breakand a journal / watch / compass to jot down the things she saw, heard, tasted, smelled and touched – anything and everything that interested and excited her. There were no lines on the page, just masses of notes and jottings and stickers and xxx movies tickets. It wasn’t just a diary but she stuck flowers theatre tickets, stamps, anything she liked really and she liked almost everything and everyone … unless she had reason not to. She tried everything twice because the first time is just a dress rehearsal and we don’t always get things right the first time. And for this reason … Her grandmother had told her this and she lived to 93 and Charlie thought this was on account of her adventurousness. 

            She shook the thermometer and popped it back in her brother Max’s mouth, who growled in protest. 

            Page 63 in her notebook had a recipe for apricot jam, a design for a three-person bicycle an emergency flying fox [CW1]from her bedroom to the bottom of the garden and the temperature in Fahrenheit and Centigrade and a piece of hair sticky taped to the inside cover (father’s hair). There was a sticker reminding her to buy a new book but Charlie didn’t need reminding because she had written it down in her book. As she did with all life’s important events.  

            One thing terrified Charlie though – heights[CW2]. She couldn’t even go up a ladder without her legs shaking and her knees knocking and climb a tree … well, forget it. 

“Capital. Capital, said the doctor and twisted the ends of his mustache into tight spirals. Max wasn’t sure what capital meant but suspected it must be something good as his mother and sister Charlie were grinning – the first smiles since Max coughed that cough almost a month ago and had been in bed ever since. 

            Max’s smile didn’t last long as the doctor’s diagnosis was grim indeed. A steady diet of dry toast, thin soup and bed rest for another week. And from his brown, leather doctor’s bag he pulled a big bottle of cough syrup with writing on the side that said Imperial Quart. Max groaned and this time he turned green. 

But there was worse to come. The doctor leaned in close to mother and whispered something.

“Send them away?” said Mother in a she replied not whispering. But Mother was a practical woman and didn’t believe in the healing power of boiling one’s ankles in whisky to cure almost any ailment, was inclined to agree. And then mother began to cough and cough and cough, and the twins looked at each other and everyone in the room was quiet because they all knew what it meant.   

Mother had a large, round, jolly face. She was one of those people whose corners of the mouth went up so she always looked happy even if she wasn’t … 

The corners of her mouth went upwards and made her look happy all the time. She was almost never happy on account of Father Ballantyne’s health, which was rarely good and almost never good.  And then it got worse. So bad that they called the doctor 

The doctor’s red face, which always turned purple when he was alarmed, went a funny shade of blue. 

While mother spoke, Captain blinked twice, Itchy stared and Charlie scribbled in her notebook. 

“There,” said mother. “Everything is settled.”

“I have just the person,” said mother. 

And with that Mother pressed the phone receiver to her round non-smiling face and dialed a number. “Aunt Amelia?” She said into the receiver. “Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes.” “Nappies? No. They’re 11. Years. Yes both of them. Twins. Yes. What’s that you say? How long?

“Four weeks,” said the doctor.

“Not long,” mother lied. “Just a couple of weeks.” 

The edges of Mother’s mouth still weren’t turning up. They turned down. 

“Lovely,” she lied. 

“You’ll be back in four weeks.”

“It’s all arranged.”

Mother explained that Great Aunt Mabel lived in a large house on an island but she didn’t have a lot of money despite what the women in the corner shop said. Charlie didn’t think the women in the corner shop were a very good measure of anything let alone wealth or lack thereof.  

But the children new it wasn’t because the sides of her mouth turned down, which almost never happened. Charlie drew a sad face in her journal. 

Everything seemed settled. Father was ill and the children would stay with Great Aunt Mabel who thought the children were babies and still wore nappies. 

“Well,” said Max, spitting out his toothpaste as the Twins washed up before bed. “It’s only four weeks and just think of all the fun we’ll have in that big old house. It can’t get any worse.”

And then it did. 

Seconds

The next morning, the smell of sizzling breakfast snaked up the stairs and into the cozy attic bedroom Charlie shared with her brother. Snoozing nostrils began to twitch and silently, and still half asleep, the children slipped out of bed and into their soft slippers and pulled on a comfy, knitted jumper. Making her way downstairs she was careful to avoid the squeaky step by the painting of a dancing horse, which made the loudest squeak and tiptoed downwards. A loud whoop of joy as Max whizzed past on the banister, hungry for the crispiest bacon. “Feeling better,” yelled Charlie, vaulting the last three stairs and almost crashing into Max who had stopped in the middle of the kitchen, frozen – mouth wide open. 

“Hullo,” said Charlie in a gulp of surprise. There was a large man sipping tea with mother at the long, xxx table.

“G’day,” said the strange man, waving large hands with fingers like pork sausages. “Don’t you remember me? Haven’t seen you since the funer – since last summer.”

But he was right the first time. Charlie wondered how anyone could forget a man who ate his way through 24 sausage rolls, 6 pork pies and a whole chocolate gateau.Sheremembered because shehad written it in her journal.  

“Children,” said mother beginning to cough, “this is your father’s cousin Magnus”. Coughing fiercely she waved her handkerchief, which meant say hello or introduce yourselves. The twins did both. Max liked Cousin Magnus immediately, although slightly in awe of this giant man, who made the floorboards creak and the special China in the cabinet tinkle with every step. Father had always called him a good sort. Charlie didn’t dislikehim, but she was not so quick to warm to a new face as Max.   

            Cousin Magnus had a kind face and kinder eyes. On his chin was a flourish of five grey whiskers struggling to free themselves from a pink rubber band – five more hairs than he had on his head. In his waistcoat, next to his gold pocket watch he kept a constant supply of liver treats for his three dogs, Marigold, Daisy and Holly, who were as tiny as he was enormous. Chihuahua, wrote Charlie in her Journal, a small breed of dog and the name of a state in Mexico. 

            “Look at his feet,” Max whispered not very quietly. Uncle Magnus looked down at his fluffy slippers 

He’s wearing slippers. Charlie sat down at the breakfast in her favourite chair where the light was best and began sketching her enormous cousin.  

Seeing her mother and Uncle Magnus she wondered how on earth they could be related But then she and Max weren’t so very alike either in so many ways but sometimes when the light was right, and if nobody was looking, she would scratch the top of head just like Max.

“Uncle Magnus has kindly offered to drive you to Aunt Mabel’s house,” explained mother as Cousin Magnus cracked his knuckles with a sound like cannon blast.  

They all sat down to eat breakfast and the three dogs lined up in a row hoping for  

The children over heard hushed whispers “eccentric” and “xxxx. Over a thick slice of buttered toast

Cousin Magnus emptied the ketchup bottle with one mighty blast of his pork sausage fingers and cleared his plate before max had buttered his toast. Then he tied his fork in a knot and handed it to Charlie with a grin. Wow!” said Max and even Charlie thought it was pretty amazing. 

Mother looked even thinner than usual. She took a sip of her tea and pushed the mug away as if the very sight of it exhausted her. 

The doctor arrives and says “what are you doing out of bed?”

After breakfast and packed their small, red suitcases, ticking off items on Great Aunt Mabel’s list as they went. Except the ‘miscellaneous items of amusement,’ which Charlie didn’t understand but mother assumed meant toys or books. Charlie felt her journal would satisfy as ‘amusement’ couldn’t bring herself to pack and mother besides mother only had a very old one. 

“Chop-chop,” said Cousin Magnus, “come along now”. He grabbed the cases with one hand and tossed them in the car like they weighed nothing at all. 

“Crikey,” said Cousin Magnus. The pickup truck was full of traps and tools “Let’s make some room here. You don’t want to end up stuck in a kangaroo net or shark trap.”

Mother stood at the bedroom window with a handkerchief pressed to her red nose and waved. As the doctor’s car drove off, there she stood waving until the doctor’s car carrying the children to the train station was just a very small blip snaking through the elm trees.  

Great Aunt Mabel lived alone in a large house on a small island – more of a castle and the island more of a rock, so there wasn’t room for other houses, only a red post box and a wooden jetty with rotten planks. 

The only way to get to the island was by boat or once a month at the low tide across the cobbled causeway, which was when the deliveryman delivered her groceries. The ice-cream man in the ice-cream van who visited once a week to deliver the chocolate ice cream offered to take the children across at low tide and they gladly accepted.

“Mornin’ tiddlywinks,” said the jolly deliveryman, hop in the back, but don’t you be touching any of those groceries or I’ll toss you in the water fer shark bait. You hear me?” The children nodded and squeezed in between the mayonnaise and sherbet. So yer related to the mysterious Lady Mabel Fitzpatrick?”

“Our father’s sister,” said Charlie.

“Sister indeed,” the driver asked.

“What’s she like?” asked Charlie. 

“Like?” replied the deliveryman. “How would I know? Fifteen years I’ve been making deliveries to the Hallows. ‘Aven’t seen her once. Not Once. Drop off the groceries; picks up me cheque. I’ve met the housekeeper; she’s a queer one, too. I drop off the groceries and pick up the mail.”

Where is the postbox … what is the significance

“Fine pair you are with all your whys and wherefores. You’ll find out soon enough – it’s almost low tide. What she’s going to do with you? That’s what I want to know. Ask for a refund if you were mine, I would. Make no mistake. Shut up in that big old house for the night

“A month,” Charlie replied. 

“Give over,” said the deliveryman, with the look that expected Charlie to concede she was in fact joking. “Quite the comedian aren’t you, young lady?

But the children weren’t laughing and

a month. I don’t envy you that’s for sure. ” 

Max looked at Charlie with eyes that said, “Let’s get out of here.” They waited in silence as the outgoing tide sloshed and gurgled down and down exposing the grey, slimly cobbles of the causeway. 

“Right children,” the deliver man barked. “Belt up.” The deliveryman laughed. seatbelts

Go away wid the pair of ya. Right. Here we are. 

“Where?” said Max. 

With the late afternoon sun fast disappearing behind distant hills and the thick soupy mist hovering just above the water, the children weren’t sure what they were supposed to see. The causeway seemed like a road to nowhere. As the van rolled slowly out on to the cobbles and into the mist closes like a curtain behind them … 

The “shore” didn’t gradually fade from view, it disappeared suddenly as if removed

“With one arm waving out the window the deliveryman drove back down the hill and disappeared into the mist.” Charlie and Max were alone on the island. 

Chapter the Third

Brief description of castle and island.The castle had four sturdy towers running down the island and into the water. No it doesn’t this is too orderly  Small arched windows with diamond panes a dirt road snaked up the hillside to sad trees with exposed roots and xx leaves

Next to the button it said press and in brackets (even only). Even only what? Charlie wondered as she reached up and pressed the bell. Nothing. She pressed twice more. Nothing. Once more and again, nothing. The twins waited patiently. Then somewhere deep inside the house came whispered words, “once more”. Charlie looked at Max, who shrugged his shoulders pressed and the twins waited. And waited. The pitter-patter of step, locks clanking and bolts turning. The two children looked up at the tremendous oak door studded with iron straps and a hidey-hole behind which blinked a big blue eye. Eyelashes. Eyeball. Eyelid. Then the latch swung open revealing a mouth with wrinkled lips. 

            “Welcome,” said the mouth. “Welcome to Hallow Hall.” And the door swung open with a creak that unsettled Max more than a little. The mouth belonged to a pleasant face and the face sat atop a body as wide as it was tall. The woman pushed aside a heaven oak chair she had used to reach the hatch with a screech and pointed to the doorbell.  

“Can’t you read?” said the woman. 

          “Of course we can,” Charlie replied

          “It says even only. Odd numbers bring bad luck … you’d not be standing here now if you’d been triplets and that’s for certain. You’re not triplets? Are you?” The woman counted them to make sure. Your mother had the cheek to send you here for three weeks, which of course we could not allow. The very nerve.”

Charlie made a note in her head to make a note in her journal. No odd numbers! But no sooner had she thought it, Max made things even worse.

“Um, we’re 11,” he said, biting his lip.

Charlie turned to look back at the steps and wondered if they should make a run  for it now but tide had risen right up and covered the causeway.

https://www.adobe.com/be_en/active-use/pdf/Alice_in_Wonderland.pdf

the woman made another rather odd remark.

 mother had asked us to keep you for three weeks or five – that’s almost as bad 

“why

“It’

 weeks. She won’t have odd numbers. 

“But we’re 11,” said Max.

Lennox gasped. “Do you enjoy upsetting people?” she asked. Charlie and Max shook their heads. “Good. Happy Birthday. Now you’re 12.” And with that she turned with a clap of her hands and marched off. 

She arrives at the front door with an umbrella in her hands. 

“Quick children. Come inside. Come inside before you get wet.” The children stepped inside and took the umbrella Lady Mabel handed them. Buckets everywhere. Empty. Dry.  

Inclement

Inclement wrote Charlie in her journal: (of the weather) unpleasantly cold or wet.

“Keep up,” she said as she disappeared behind a very fat suit of armour covered in dust. He had a feather duster in his hand where his sword should have been. “There it is,” said Lennox, “I’ve been looking for that everywhere.” Deep inside the suit was a mewo and cough    

“Something’s odd all right,” said Charlie. 

“Great Aunt Mabel?” said the children together.

“Hark at you,” said the woman. “Lady Mabel indeed. I am Lennox the housekeeper.”

“Oh dear me, bless your hearts. Don’t be calling me lady. I’m the housekeeper Lennox.” 

The children stepped inside and instantly felt cold. They shivered all over. They held onto their suitcases tightly and

They set off

Is this a castle?” asked Max. 

“Why?” said Lennox. “Are you allergic?”

“To what? Castles? No, well I wouldn’t know this is my first time. I don’t think so?” 

“Good. I can’t abide fussiness. There is no such thing as an allergy; it’s just laziness.” 

Lennox removed a white cloth from her apron and rubbed vigorously at the wall achieving nothing??s at a patch of dirt, which makes not difference. 

The mainland house is shut upthese past 17 year so like it or lump it. 

“We like it very much,” said Charlie remembering what mother had said about fisrt impressions. 

“Well, that is fortunate. Here we are.” Lennox unlocked double doors, which creaked open slowly to reveal an octagonal room. 

“The old nursery as was – I spruced it as best I could with what I had,” Lennox said proudly pointing to a stuffed penguin with one eye and a fossilised pot plant crumbled as she spoke. Otherwise the room looked as if it had been undisturbed for a hundred years. Dust plumed as they walked across the think rugs Charlie sat on the window-seat and jotted some notes

She dusts Max

“well I’ll leave you to settle in. Dinner is at seven. I’ve laid out your clothes already 

Mr Browne began searching threw the children’s pockest. “You haven’t any matches on you?” Your aunt won’t have them in the house. “She’ll turf you out if she finds them on you so don’t you be lying to me … and you’re not to wear red … You don’t drink whisky do ya?

“No! said Charlie

I thought not said Mrs Brown … “I was right … you’re a vodka  

The children don’t see Lady Mabel til dinner. 

She doesn’t speak to them initially … she only sends notes

She speaks to the the next day

“I am she – Lady Mabel Van Hoofen.”

Max wondered why she called herself ‘Lady’ it was altogether as plain as the long nose on her long face

Bowls of confetti to find their way

A tortoise with jewels on its back her constant companion. 

“Bonjour Mes Enfants,” said xxxx Lady Mabel swept down the stairs like a with a fan in her hand 

There is a sign that says no running

“Say hello to Tarquin,” said Great Aunt Mabel, but the unfortunate reptile had already disappeared inside his shell as she waved him at the children as if to make his acquaintance. 

No laughing 

How’s your moth? What she’s broken her leg … careless well she never was very clever … marrying my poor brother   dolt. 

No town criers etc

“I shall call you Llama Face,” and tapped Max on the head with her hand. 

She work a green, silk dress covered in jewels like a Christmas Tree

“children,” she said … welcome to Trewinnard Manor. 

On their beds the children found clotes laid out for dibnner You will wear this when you dine with me. She gives her a tiara

The boys will comb their hair

May we call you xxx

“No, you may not. And curtsey. 

Charlie

Boys bow 

Lower, lower, lower til they are lying on the floor.  

Only when Max was lying on the floor did she seemed satisfied and she nodded. Lennox appeared from the shadowswith her feather duster and brushed him down and then began serviving dinner.

She only eats with spoons because knives are dangerous

Only eats food that can be spooned 

Xxx the butler wheels a squeaky cart with plates with silver domesmetal covers and puts them before the Twins … 

“Portion control children,” said Great Aunt Mabel as she minished her heal course in one mouthful

“Vitamin C,” for the first course are very important

The delicious smell of main course reached their nostrils and their bellies growled and gurgled 

“You do like caviar, I take it?” she said waving a mother-of-pearl spoon at the twins while in the other she held a tin, like cat food tin, full of small, black, shiny fish eggs. Charlie shivered and his tummy quivered. 

“What fun we shall have And this children smiled because they had very much liked the idea of fun, having been without it almost two weeks. 

As they climbed into their beds they thought 

If you are kind and generous and thoughtful we shall do very well together. But if you are greedy and naughty and difficult I shall lock you in the dungeon

Max wondered if there was a dungeon in the castle and imagined a dark, wet place with but he didn’t want to find out so he remained quiet and nodded each time the old lady paused and nodded twice when she finished talking for good measure. 

Door clanged shut and the drip drip drip of seawater. Charlie waited for Max to go to sleep and then … does she hear crying or footsteps … they see stairs going up to the tower and Mrs Browne sasys don’t go up there? 

The children watched as silence. Their gaze following great Aunt Mabel to the very last step of the staircase

“What?” Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare … we all have our particular ways about us … 

Chapter 2

At breakfast the next morning

“I cannot go riding children, for last night after you went to bed I swallowed a grand piano made of glass and if I fall it will be break.” Then who will perform the recital?

Do they ride on hobbyhorses and she knocks to coconut shells together

“Listen,” she said. “Can you hear it?” “Can you hear it play?” “Can you?” And with that she leaned in very close to Max and opened her mouth and deep, deep down came the sound of a grand piano, out of tune. 

Just at that moment Charlie looked down at the floor and under her skirts she played a tiny toy piano wi

Or is it the baddy playing it behind the wall

Charlie wrote in her journal where is the piano playing coming from 

She looked down and she was playing it on the piano. 

How very odd.

“Aunt Mabel,” said Charlie, “does anyone else live in the house”?

Max nodded solemnly for they could not go riding  

and just a t that moment a golden songbird popped out of the music box and played sang a song so sad .. what happened????

Max woke early the next morning and kicked his legs under the cold sheets to chase the chills away. He threw a pillow at the lump under the shits far across the room. 

“Go away,” grumbled the lump. “What time is it?” asked the lump. 

“Seven o’clock,” said Max. 

“Too early,” Charlie replied, emerging from the blankets. 

Max was already pulling on his fluffy winter socks, “come on get up.”

There is nothing that could make me get out of bed but her nostril twitched before she had finished the sentence. “What a delicious smell!” 

  instead of horses there were 

“You do like weeding?” she said with a broad smile 

“of Course you  

You shall help me with flower arrangements. Most girls like flowers. But Charlie wasn’t like most girls and on the subject of flowers she was indifferent, arranged or otherwise didn’t like this but felt it would be rude to disagree. 

Charlie alternated flowers with yawns as 

How hard could it be, she wondered. Put some flowers in the vase. While Lady Mabel cafrefully selected each flower and even more carefully placed it in the vase. She uttered a little sigh after each flower which meant she was satisfied. Madelaiene grabbed a handful of yellow blooms, 2 blue and a large red flower with a pleasing scent. She put them all in a vase and then sat down with to read a book on xxx. Licking her finger as she turned the pages. Charlie had licked her finger 27 times before 

“oh, my, said Lady Mabel with her hands pressed to her cheek and her mouth wide open in glee, it’s beautiful. “It just needs one thing “You know what this needs?”

And with that she shoved a dead fish in the vase and took a step pack to admire the arrangement 

“Don’t forget to water it,” she said   

After that they made a Vegemite and turnip cake for dinner and sat down for a game of backwards, upside down which is….at the end of which Charlie was quite dizzy.  

She has to have an even number of asparagus spears

“I have a well stocked library, said Great Aunt Mabel”. You may read what you like as long as you wear gloves and don’t dogear the pages or dribble or sniff 

Forgive me I thought you said 

Great Aunt Mabel showed them her collection of eye baths explaining you never new when you might want to wash a foreign body out of your eye.

That night the children played scrabble while Great Mabel knitted sausages from a large ball of pink wool. 

As soon Max’s breathing slowed and he … which was not quite  a snore, Charlie new he was asleep and crept over to the window-seat. “Lit by the faint, blusingrey of the cresecent moon “filtering through the curtains from the street lamp ouside the window.” 

She hears a noise … there is someone in the part of the house that is supposed to be empty

Did someone comeover in the delivery truck?

She doesn’t tell Max until later 

Something in the Postbox

After a week of xxx, the children settled in a steady routine lessons and diet of strange meals, xxx boardgames and  mysterious   . 

Because it was her own private postbox she could paint it any colour she wanted but she changed her mind so often it was anyone’s guess. Today the box was yellow the paint was still wet. 

Sleep was a long time coming that night. Max lay on his back staring at the window, the crescent glow of the moon and “I’ve got it he cried! The Library.” Charlie work with a start. 

“Got what she 

Max, who loved to climb, scaled the ladder in just four steps. P. “Palaces of the Maharajahs, People who’ve gone over Niagara Falls, Pineapple Upside-down Cake, Pirates And Their Parrots, ooh this looks interesting.

“Focus,” growled Charlie impatiently, thinking he sounded more and more like Great Aunt Mabel. 

“Sorry,” he whispered from high up on the ladder. “I’ve got it,” he cried. Postcards: An Encyclopedia of, by Henry H. Hauffman” Max clamped the book between his teeth, held on firmly to the rails of the ladder and slid down to the ground with a swoosh. 

“Well done,” said Charlie with a broad smile. She took the book and turned to the Table Of Contents, running her finger down the list until she reachedChapter 8: The Secret language Of Postcards.The twins exchanged a look. As the pages flickered through Charlie’s fingers and she stopped at Page 84. The both took a deep breath in. But where page 84 was supposed to begin, there was only a lot of tattered and torn edges where the whole chapter had been ripped pages “Well I guess that’s it,” Charlie said with a sigh and handed the book to Max. But Max wasn’t frowning, and one of his freckles had disappeared, which meant he was puzzled, “What is it?” Charlie asked. 

“I’m not sure?” Max replied. “But I think someone doesn’t want us to see these pages.”

“But who?” said Charlie

“There’s red paint on the front of the book and on page 83 …  

“That’s exactly what we’re going to find out. 

Chapter X

The dinner party

The China in the cabinets began to tinkle long before the next guest arrived. Charlie knew the next guest long before he arrived by the thump thump thump and trembling og the floorboards. X wore z Two buttons popped with a ping and bounced of the dinner zing and bounced off the dinner gong as he finally breathed out. “Sorry” he said with a sad face. Charlie rushed and hugged him but her hands wouldn’t meet. This restored his smile. “What’s for dinner,” he said, “I’m starving”.

“Don’t worry,” said Charlie, “There’s so much food   

Chapter X

Abracadabra

Otto the Magnificent. His cape, red lined and silver clasped gave him an air of mystery and xx he is a boy and he helps the twins he doesn’t have  pet rabbit he has something funny does he make Tarquin disappear? Is he just a car salesman 

I ran all the way so I did, said the deliveryman, 

The slide down the flying fox and when they get to the bottom Max unties the rope and tied it to the rotten branch … the robber falls to the ground

The oak tree at the bottom of the garden with one branch still alive as it has leaves … just one branch. 

Charlie goes to investigate … she thinks the baddies have gone bu they are waiting for her

 [CW1]Set up – the children will use it later to escape a situation. 

 [CW2]Her fear of heights will challenge her later on