Aching from head to to toe.

<<Shiver>>

Have resolved to spend the entire day in bed complaining.

On a positive note some of my clothing that blew off the balcony was returned - folded neatly outside my door (no knickers).

Didn't even play coffee roulette ... instead, drank several litres of orange juice.

Just got tisked by a German woman for putting the wrong size coffee cup under the machine. I threw her my best best puppy dog "I'm sick face" and she melted into forgiveness.

Our truce was short-lived.

She stole all the crispy bacon so am currently scowling at her.

Saw her return to the buffet later so hid bacon fork.

She used her fingers.

Curses.

Most of the guests in the hotel are German and most of them are lovely - albeit taciturn and serious. A few Americans arrived this morning ... you can tell the difference. The Germans converse quietly while the Americans insist on everyone in the restaurant hearing "how great the US is now".

There was a loud crash from the kitchen and an Italian family dissolved into hysterics ... I may have to mediate.

The loud ones are going on a ferry ride.

I just glanced out of the window and the lake looks flat calm,

still ...

So I got slapped about by the flu bug and spent the entire day in bed.

Really bizarre this 5-star hotel has no A/C .

How do you stop all the chocolate from melting into your mouth?

I found some energy for 30 seconds to do some hand washing and beat my knickers against the polished granite walls with fading gusto.

I found a stale baguette under the desk from my shopping trip and nibbled on it to prevent fainting spell. Then I realised I didn’t buy a baguette … mehhh … can’t really get any sicker.

Got sicker.

Up at 2am, 3am and at 4 I was done.

The coffee machine at the breakfast buffet is not fixed to the wall … may slip into my catsuit this evening and stick it in my Kathmandu case, which is so huge I’ve taken to hiding in there whenever housekeeping tries to clean my room. The muffled cries of “leave me be” seem lost on their Teutonic sensibilities.

Have allowed myself one more day to convalesce.

I love Ascona but have officially run to fat.

Shall wear large lettuce leaf in my hair tomorrow.

The chocolate aisles in Swiss supermarkets are positively criminal.

Black is slimming: they lied.

The checkout lady hates me. My Italian is awful and she frowns and mutters whenever I speak in English. I copied the lady in front of me and said 'Grazie Millie' and she smiled. Confident we will be best friends by end of trip.

Have come down with galloping influenza/man flu – hard to say.

Managed to climb out of bed and shoot David Paquette’s 3-hour set before coming back to the hotel to groan quietly.

Other sundry washing items have blown off the balcony into the piazza ... don't care. <<cough>>