My grandmother, Alice Warrington

Before I was too young to understand, my grandmother told me to follow my dreams.

"You can be anyone you want to be, if only you have the courage to seize the day," she said.

I told her I wanted to see the world, and so you shall she said with a squeeze and a kiss.

Alice passed away before I got to know her; before I understood the worldly advice of a lady who never left the country she was born in.

Worldliness is a state of mind and not measured by the stamps in our passports.

Because they never listen.

"Yeah, whatever large man, I'm tired."

"Come on Bagel. Walkies!"

"Yeah whatever, I ain't movin'"

This episode of scandalous canine defiance occurred at one of Sydney's iconic seaside suburbs, Bondi Beach.

I ended up carrying the stubborn pooch.

I was in Sri Lanka. 

The look on this little fella's face says it all: it's hot as hell. 

Two weeks in and still the awesomeness keeps coming. 

I arrived at Sigiriya, an ancient rock fortress located in the northern Matale District near the town of Dambulla in the Central Province, sans trusty water bottle.

No matter.

How hot can it possibly be. 

Very. 

But then one of the locals spied me swooning Jane Austen style and shared their water with me and all was right with the world again.  

Sri Lankans really are the most generous, caring people. 
 

Technically I wasn't feeding the animals and no kookaburras were harmed during the filming of this picture.

Smoking causes beak cancer

I was at a holiday house in the Blue Mountains about two hours drive west of Sydney.

There was food involved.

I vaguely remember leaving some cheese and crackers on the terrace and someone had left cigarettes on the table.

But Polly didn't want a cracker.

He wanted a smoke.

Once again, it seemed like a great idea at the time ... happy days ...

At least it was warm and toasty

Come to the party they said.

Never one to give up the opportunity to slip into a costume, the obvious choice to attend a Sound of Music party was to go dressed as bread and jam.

It all went swimmingly until the neighbours, on account of a particularly raucous chorus of 'My Favourite Things,' called the cops. It was spectacular.

The police constables were less enthused.

But when I answered the door thusly attired they were powerless to reprimand me and instead advised us to party hard.

We obliged.

And continued with our tribute to Julie Andrews and the iconic 60's movie.

This happened while I was in Sydney but it doesn't matter where you are travelling around the world, party hard and dance like no one is watching, even if you can hardly move because you're trapped in a huge slice of glittered bread.

Go hard.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that if you ask someone not to do something, chances are they're likely to do exactly that which you forbade.

Don't touch the costume cupboard .... sorry I can't hear you.

Such was the request and subsequent naughty defiance during a vacation to Byron Bay.

A theatre group had once rented the property and a substantial costume collection remained.

Red flag.

Bull.

The door to the costume room was locked but no match for a Phillips head and few gentle taps.

Honestly, what did you expect?